Groceries from Mom

I was going to get myself some food today when I realized I didn't have any. Well besides two small microwave burritos. And I'm in the hole again until I get my housing and tuition reimbursement. So I called my mother, I don't know why, and she brought me a ton of food. I appreciate it, but I wonder where that leaves me with her. She doesn't really respect my choices, and I can't say I blame her most of the time since I'm perpetually in dire straits, scraping by and trying not to lose everything.

I just doubt sometimes that my choices were the right ones. I know what I feel, I know why I've done the things I have, but maybe life gets easier if you turn off the complicated stuff and just do what people tell you to. But just thinking that scares me. Is it really so bad I'd give up on everything I believe? And what exactly do I believe?

It's all so shaky right now. Thank heavens for Alexa I suppose.

The Beginning of All Things

I've needed to keep a journal for some time and I feel a mobile-accessible, semi-private forum is the best option. I'm not good at keeping promises to myself, because I never really blame me when I let myself down.

I'm re-embarking on a life I thought I'd left behind, and it scares the crap out of me. I don't like looking at my future as an individual right now, and I need to come to terms with that. More specifically as a single individual. My adult life has been dominated by my relationship with Sarah, and being thrust nose-first back into the big wide world has left me a bit bewildered.

Thankfully I have some excellent friends who take care of me and keep me from wallowing. I'd like to think they're the people who have always been there, and will always be there in the future. But perhaps nothing is for 'always' and this too shall pass is the motto of the day.